Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism - Paperback Book on BDSM Relationships & Erotic Power Dynamics | Perfect for Couples Exploring Kink & Alternative Lifestyles

"Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" is one of the two books almost universally recommended to BDSM newcomers, the other being Jay Wiseman's "SM 101." Of the two, "Screw the Roses" is perhaps the more immediately engaging and certainly the more titillating, though it lacks the comprehensiveness and authority Wiseman brings to his subject. If you're serious about getting involved in BDSM but only have the time, money, or inclination to read one book, "SM 101" should be it. However, if you're interested in checking out a variety of books with different emphases and approaches, "Screw the Roses" deserves a place on your reading list.Like other authors of introductory BDSM manuals, Philip Miller and Molly Devon emphasize safety, explore a wide variety of BDSM practices with special emphasis on the most common activities, and engage in a bit of speculation as to why exactly people want to do these crazy things in the first place. What makes "Screw the Roses" special is the authors' engaging style - witty, sexy, and personal, rather like a cozy chat with friends. Sections of the book that could have been relatively dry - those dealing with the details of specific bondage techniques, for example - are punctuated with enough humor and warmth to hold the reader's interest.It's also - to put it bluntly - a very sexy book. There are a few informative illustrations and diagrams here, but far more drawings and photographs that seem to have been included for no other reason than that they're smokin' HOT. If pictures of women in bondage turn you on, you're going to be squirming in your seat just flipping through this book. There are also a few delightful erotic "stories" interspersed throughout for purposes of illustration, either from the authors' own experience or as fictional composites revelatory of actual experience. (Important note: Miller and Devon write from the perspective of their own experience as a male Dom and female sub; though they do attempt to be somewhat inclusive and most of what they write is applicable to other gender/role pairings, the "stories" and most of the pictures will have the greatest erotic appeal to male-dominated heterosexual relationships.)Unfortunately, the informality that makes this book so engaging can also be a liability at times, when the authors descend into cringeworthy silliness. This is rarely a problem after the first couple of chapters, as the book moves into heavier material, but there were times toward the beginning when the strained, belabored metaphors and heavy-handed authorial presence had me wanting to tear my hair out. (Ironically, the authors' chatty style comes across far better on the printed page than it does when read aloud. A number of passages which I found appealing or amusing when I read them silently to myself came across as terribly awkward and artificial when I read them out loud to my husband.)Like any authors writing about an intensely personal subject, Miller and Devon have biases. Some, they freely admit and strive to compensate for, while others go utterly unchallenged. They assume that their readers will be carrying around a significant degree of residual guilt about their sexuality; whereas many people undoubtedly are, I couldn't help feeling on occasion that I had fallen into some horrid alternate reality in which a basically healthy, wholesome sexuality is humanly impossible. (If I wanted to go there, I'd be reading Freud.) More problematic for me was the repeated misunderstanding and mockery of relationships based on absolute and literal ownership. Miller and Devon have a notion that the so-called "true slave" "maintains the conviction that decisions made by her Master are never to be questioned," and "has no relevant needs of her own." I know a number of people (myself included) who are, have been in, or are actively working towards relationships of this kind. Not one of the slaves is, or aspires to be, a mindless automaton. Not one of the Masters desires to own such a creature.I found myself cringing a few times as I read "Screw the Roses," but despite these flaws I found myself much more often amused or aroused. Those who have never before read an informative BDSM book will find it an engaging introduction.